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the boy with the thorn in his side
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| survey. |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|12:40 am] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
WWII in HD is fucking PROFOUND, man. I just saw a guy with his head lopped off. O_O
I'm in love because Steve Zahn is the voice of one of the marines.
( hold me closer, tiny dancer... ) |
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| Math and Memes. Thus is my life. |
[Oct. 26th, 2009|12:42 am] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | "Gimme Three Steps" by Lynyrd Skynyrd xD | ] |
A LETTER MEME: Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list ten things you LOVE that begin with that letter. Afterwards, post this in your journal and give out letters of your own.
I'm the special kind of person who asked for letters from everyone who posted, so here I be, with my r and my s.
( let the beat riiiide )
Watch, I'll think of a ton of great stuff tonight while I'm trying to sleep. xD |
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| birthday |
[Sep. 24th, 2009|11:57 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  tired | ] |
I've been sitting around waiting to turn twenty one.
I'm pathetic. xD
EVERYONE IS HAVING A REALLY BAD THURSDAY. IT MAKES ME SAD. :(
*hugs friends list* |
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| Halloween |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|09:27 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | food crackling | ] |
Joel is going to be the Miner from My Bloody Valentine for Halloween.
I'm kind of excited, but kind of not, because I haven't talked to him since the fight I had with my sister. I know she told him everything and I know he's blaming me. He already doesn't want to pay me back the 600 dollars they owe me because of a JOKE that I made about how people who make money owe someone who makes nothing six-hundred dollars.
This is why I'm so passive around friends. Because I hate the feeling of not knowing if someone likes me and I'd rather be hated for being reserved than for being misread. Which I always am.
Har-de-fucking-har. |
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| Swayze. :( |
[Sep. 14th, 2009|09:06 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | She's like the wind by Swayze<33 | ] |
RIP, Swayze. Ily.<33
That was like the tip of the iceberg. My day has just gotten a million times worse with this horrible news. :( |
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| PETA >:( |
[Sep. 9th, 2009|08:22 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  enraged | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | Dog the Bounty Hunter | ] |
SUCK MY CUNT, PETA!
SERIOUSLY??
First of all, being fat and not buying products that use blubber have NOTHING IN COMMON. And I know that's not what they're saying, but what they ARE SAYING is even MORE VICIOUS. THEY'RE BEING CRUEL TO OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE. What an effective way to advertise for endorsements. By offending people. Yeah, real smart.
SECOND OF ALL.
BEING A VEGETARIAN DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY EQUAL WEIGHING LESS.
I AM FAT.
I HAVE ALSO BEEN A VEGETARIAN FOR SEVERAL YEARS.
There are SEVERAL REASONS A PERSON COULD BE FAT AND A VEGETARIAN/VEGAN!
I may not be vegan, but I DO refrain from buying products created from/tested on animals.
I may not be vegan, but I DO NOT eat meat.
I MAY NOT BE VEGAN, BUT I AM A VEGETARIAN, AND I AM NOT FUCKING SKINNY.
Well, if I hated them before, I hate them even more now. Fucking obviously don't care about anything but advertisements and celebrity endorsements. |
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| INSANELY BORED. |
[Aug. 23rd, 2009|09:00 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | my nose whistling | ] |
I'm bored.
Boredom leads me to do crazy things, like watch Lifetime movies and eat Frosted Mini Wheats with milk that's past its expiration date. And now my mouth tastes like ass. Oh, Sundayyy, how I hate you. Blah.
Fall classes start tomorrow. I'm not having a panic attack at the moment, but I may before I go in. Or, you know, while I'm in the hallway thinking about going in. Or while I go in. I can feel it in my chest - tight and oppressive. Math and music and criminology. Each semester brings new worries. There needs to be a college-for-dummies handbook, a pick-me-up for kids who couldn't make it through high school but hope to graduate college. Or maybe each semester can come equipped with a pill to kick the nerves when you register. Because all I am is nerves. Nerves and fear and neurosis.
I'll be okay. I'm always okay...but it's enough to make my head hurt. I've been looking forward to it since last semester ended. It's like a bug. Or a drug. I need it to keep my mind off of real things, like the fact that I have no life. Which, okay, college is REAL. College is more real than anything else I've experienced. A future is ATTAINABLE. But I guess I haven't grasped that fact yet. I haven't come to terms with the idea that sometimes it's okay to try things that I'd normally be too scared to try. I haven't comprehended the fact that I'm DOING this.
Boredom also leads me to talk too much. Go figure. I've been talking to myself all day. |
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| rentrentrentrentRENT |
[Aug. 22nd, 2009|03:19 am] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  dirty | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | Tango: Maureen as sung by Anthony Rapp and Tracie Thoms | ] |
I tried to sleep. I really did. But I laid awake thinking about my audition and what I should have said or should have done. Like dwelling on the things I should or shouldn't have done is going to help me any. *rolls eyes* I always do this when I put myself out there, which is why I don't do it often, but I wish I could just be PROUD for one minute that I did something like that. That I tried. Meh. I know it's just because I'm afraid of being judged and of people noticing me. I know it's because I'm afraid of succeeding in anything. I'm terrified that if I prevail I'm still going to be just as unhappy as I am now. I'm afraid that doing something I love isn't going to be enough - that it'll become another mundane part of my life just like everything else.
So now I'm sitting here watching Rent with every light in the house on like I had a bad nightmare or something. Which, y'know, now that I think about it...my dreams lately have been full of vivid deliciousness. That's all I'm saying.
No matter how many times I watch this movie, it gives me chills. Every time. Ugh, I want to see it LIVE. :(
I wish I could write something that powerful. Hell, I'd give up a few limbs just to BE a part of something that powerful.
Guh, Rosario Dawson. *swoon*
Wow, and I've forgotten what I came here to do, so I guess I'll just skedaddle. |
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| Audition! |
[Aug. 19th, 2009|10:14 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | Man vs. Wild | ] |
So. I just got back from my very first audition! I was so nervous all day; I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I just kept reading my line (yes, LINE) over and over and trying to decide what kind of face I should make. The nervousness didn't ebb when we got there, either. And especially not when I was in the ramshackle building known as TicTock studios. It was very unofficial, and a lot of people didn't even show up.
I walked into the room as nervous as ever, but I did it! I actually was able to speak! Ahh! I don't think I'm getting the part, because of my awkwardness, but at least I tried. I never would have before. I would have just said how cool it sounded to be a part of something like that, but never would have done anything about it. So I'm proud of myself for that. Even if I do feel like I made an ass of myself. But then again, I feel like this after I talk to anyone, so maybe I didn't make an ass of myself. Unless I make an ass of myself all the time. xD
WOW, and you can tell I drank coffee. *shakes head* |
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| What's Wrong with Virginia? |
[Aug. 18th, 2009|01:31 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| | shocked | ] |
...I just got a callback to audition for What's Wrong with Virginia?
What. The. Hell.
I'm in shock. I don't know what to do! xD |
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| RED DAWN |
[Aug. 18th, 2009|01:00 am] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
WHY ARE SO MANY MOVIES BEING FILMED IN MICHIGAN ALL OF A SUDDEN? I'm sorry, but I cannot CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT.
I WANT TO GO TO THE RED DAWN SHOOTING. NOW.
We're suddenly popular, guys!
Seriously, guys, I'm way too happy about this shit. First What's Wrong with Virginia? and now this? And I did not know that Gran Torino was filmed here! *flail* |
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| got MILK? |
[Aug. 15th, 2009|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | baseball | ] |
So, today represents the day of my first adventure into show business. I went to an open casting call for a movie called "What's Wrong with Virginia?" written by the guy who wrote MILK. We woke up at nine, left by ten, and were halfway to Holland by twelve. When we first arrived, the navigation system told us to stop at this creepy house on the side of the road. We drove past it. Then we passed this place called "Deanna's Playhouse" where we saw these bright neon signs that read CASTING CALL with an arrow pointing toward the street.
The first thing we all thought was "Well, they said they wanted people who could play younger parts, but we didn't know they meant THIS young." The sign was like a garage sale sign, haha. It was hilarious.
We promptly drove past that as well. xD
Well, after we went to Wendy's to go potty (yeah, POTTY), we drove back to the road where the signs were placed.
We stood in line for at least two and a half hours. Give or take. There were a bunch of people who were seriously serious about this casting call. Like...people with close ups and everything. There was even a guy who looked like a really bad Johnny Depp impersonator. He made my day. It was insane. I just went for fun, to be completely honest. Because I wanted to try something I'd never tried. To represent my home state in a movie written by someone who's known for something amazing. Because Michigan NEEDS more amazing.
Anyway, we stood in line. A lot. Like...a lot, a lot. THEN when we were at the doors, they gave us water! We were half dead by then. When we went in, we signed in and guess what? We had to wait some more! Surprise! I was super nervous just because of all the people around me, and I'm not good when it comes to people who don't give great directions. So we filled out the shit and had to get our picture taken. After standing out in the hot sun for three hours. Right. Hilarious.
Then we had to turn in our papers, and the casting people would ask us questions. I don't think the lady liked me very much because she only asked one question. I felt awkward. It's okay.
While we were waiting for Ashley's friend to join our five-person group, we spoke to the writer of MILK. When I say "spoke to" I do not mean "had a conversation with." He asked us if we were all together, talked about how people in Michigan use their hand to tell others where they live, and said he smelled trouble. It was pretty entertaining.
I'm definitely not getting a call-back, but at least I can say I met someone profound? 'Cause, yeah, he is pretty profound.
We scanned the radio the entire ride, all six hours, and when we were headed back I saw a sign that read "Apple Pie...ooh la la" and it made me giggle. |
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| Writer's Block: Cute Meet |
[Jul. 28th, 2009|03:07 am] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | U of M marching band on some college football game my brother's playing | ] |
Probably my parents.
They met at a gas station while my dad was in rehab. He held the door open for her. Romantic, right? I'm wondering how they expected that relationship to work at all. |
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| my life... |
[Jul. 27th, 2009|01:47 am] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  exanimate | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | fast and furious | ] |
since I only seem to complain on here anymore, I decided to do something a little less dramatic...like a survey.
( don't let me go, I'm feeling hollow ) |
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| I think too much. |
[Jun. 30th, 2009|04:08 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  worried | ] |
I wish I knew how to be brave, confident, certain. |
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| ramblings of... |
[May. 4th, 2009|05:09 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| | rushed | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | silence. | ] |
I'm feeling sort of...restless.
My life hasn't been worth updating on. Nothing has happened, nothing has gone on, nothing is exciting. Ah, my life. Unless faulty sinuses are key to a good, descriptive update.
All of my classes are dwindling down. I still have one presentation to do, but I'm just basically going to write it out and read rather than try to trust my brain to work in harmony with my vocal cords. I tried that once. It didn't work. I don't give a shit if it takes my grade down. I'm doing awesomely horrible in that class anyway. I'm also extremely sick of waking up at six o'clock for a class that I'm learning nothing in. I wish we were at least being tested on the shit she's talking about, but we're not, so therefore, waking up at six am to learn nothing.
I got a 4.0 in my English/writing class. Today was our last class, which I'm THANKFUL FOR. Even though I'm taking another this summer. Woo. I hope you can feel the enthusiasm.
:|
I'm kind of afraid to get a different instructor. I don't want someone who's going to make me feel like I learned nothing this semester.
But whatever. We're opening our swimming pool this summer and I'm going to drown myself in it. Not literally.
I guess I should get upstairs to finish my presentation now. :( |
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| Writer's Block: Wild Life |
[Apr. 28th, 2009|06:38 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | "u and u and me" by 2gether. lmao. | ] |
bitch, please. i watch bear grylls. i know how to run from alligators AND elephants. I also know how to make a bed out of leaves and how to use flint to start a fire. i'd probably end up starving to death though, because i am NOT EATING RAW ANIMAL.
also? I'm listening to 2gether and it's taking me BA-A-ACK. omg. i'm missing my bsb shirts and stupid plastic jewelry and boyband cds a ridiculous amount. |
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| survey. |
[Apr. 21st, 2009|05:56 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | Currently Hearing |
| | "Full Service" by NKOTB. Hell yes! xD | ] |
I HAVE TIME TO DO NOTHINNNNG. YES.
haaa, so I waste my time doing a survey. yes, i have a life.
( i'mma give it up full service, you'll see ) |
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| hammer time. |
[Apr. 14th, 2009|05:25 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| | rushed | ] |
happy birthday, holly!
I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING TO POST SOMETHING. |
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| blue in the face. |
[Apr. 5th, 2009|11:38 pm] |
| [ | Currently Feeling |
| |  depressed | ] |
It's about time that you got sick of me
No longer fun, and so far from interesting
I thought that I found me a cure for feeling old
Just one more line to keep me sleeping loudly and cold
In disgraced with a shameful regret
As I talk in tongues to myself in my bed
Can't say I blame you one bit when you kept it all inside
When you left that night... |
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